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A lull in bed is nothing unusual in a long relationship or marriage, but sexual lack of desire can still be stressful, especially if both partners have different needs. Your wife or girlfriend wants to have sex, but you just don't? This inevitably leads to disappointment, arguments and sometimes even to the questioning of the entire relationship because the other person no longer feels loved and desired.

Reasons for sexual displeasure

First of all, there is rarely one reason for sexual desire. Often different factors come together and the longer you don't have sex, the less desire you develop. This is a vicious circle, because sex releases various reward, happiness and sex hormones that increase your libido and fuel your desire to have sex again. If you don't have sex anymore, this doesn't happen and the desire doesn't come back easily. 

Sometimes physical or psychological problems are the cause of sexual displeasure, which may need to be treated medically. Find out what the cause is, because in other cases erotic desire can be rekindled in various ways - for example, through an adventure with an escort girl. 😉

Psychological causes of sexual displeasure

• Stress:

The most common cause of lack of desire in men and women is often stress. Because lust begins in the mind. Stress in everyday life is an absolute lust killer. If your thoughts in bed are only about your next meeting, problems with colleagues or the double burden of work and family, then something is definitely not going right. But partner time and intimacy should actually be a safe place where you can relax and let go. Make sure you have a fixed time that only belongs to you and let go of the outside world.

• Relationship problems:

Arguments and unspoken differences tend to divide you rather than unite you. Even though "make-up sex" is often presented as a panacea. Learn to communicate openly and solve problems instead of running away from them. As long as disputes are not resolved, sexual unwillingness is likely to remain.

• Sex as a means to an end:

Your partner uses sex to control and manipulate you? To reward you or punish you by depriving you of sex? You only have sex to fulfil a desire to have children? No wonder your libido is in the basement. Sex should never be just a means to an end! It is a deep, intimate connection that should bring you closer together. Try to see through ingrained patterns and break them up.

• Physical dissatisfaction:

Sexual aversion is often linked to physical dissatisfaction with yourself or your partner. If you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, you don't want to be touched or you can't believe that someone finds you attractive. The only thing that helps is to work on yourself and your self-esteem. 

Maybe you don't find your partner as attractive as you did in the beginning because she has put on a little weight, got a wrinkle or two or a few grey hairs? That's just the way things are. Be clear about what you find most beautiful, pick out details that still attract you, focus on the positive instead of the negative. Sports and other activities together can increase the attraction again.

• Long partnership:

You have been together for many years and know each other physically (supposedly) inside out? Of course, the attraction is no longer as fresh as it was in the beginning, the tingling sensation is gone and the hormones are certainly no longer on a roller coaster. BUT: Be sure that there are enough things to discover. 

A body consists of more than just sexual parts. In one square centimeter of skin there are about 600,000 cells, 5,000 of which are sensory cells and 4 meters of nerve tracts. So a considerable basis for new stimuli. Discover your bodies anew, touch each other attentively, even in places that otherwise receive little or no attention. Practice mutual full-body massages, stimulate your sensory cells again. Create space for touch, passion and intimacy, then the desire will come all by itself.

7 tips against sexual displeasure

As an independent escort, I know exactly how important it is for people to experience physical closeness and touch. As social beings, we simply need this attention. Let me give you a few tips to tackle your sexual lack of desire or that of your partner and bring passion back into your marriage or relationship:

1. Attention and time

Devote yourselves to each other again, not only in bed, but also in everyday life. Take over each other's tasks, carry the burdens of life together. Be attentive, pay attention to each other and give each other compliments. Talk to each other - and not just about the weather, the children or trivialities. Try to have good conversations again. Sex starts in the head, not in bed.

2. New positions and places

Sex in bed has simply become too boring? Then there are countless possibilities for exciting sex outside the bedroom. In the car, in the woods, in the park, in the shower, on the washing machine (vibration included), etc. Be creative, especially secret play in public can rekindle your tingles because the danger of being discovered releases adrenaline. You can also try something new in terms of positions. Try it out and get rid of your shame!

3. Watching porn together

The porn industry is booming and just huge. Take advantage of this and get inspired by watching porn together. There are now also many aesthetic erotic films that focus on female pleasure (for example, films by Erika Lust). Incorporate them into your foreplay while touching yourself and getting dirty thoughts.

4. Bring sex toys into play

Toys are not only something for solo sex, but also make partnered intercourse interesting again. They help men relieve some of the pressure to perform (keyword: stamina), women benefit from additional stimulation. Why not send each other suggestions or order a fine selection to try out?

5. Try new things

Anal sex, anal plugs, dominance and submission, dirty talk, role play: There are so many ways to act out sexually. Talk about your wants and needs, tell your partner what you would like to try. Maybe you as a man are into anal stimulation or would like to take your wife "from behind"? Then talk openly about it and how far you are willing to try things. Because new things bring exactly that tingling sensation back into your relationship that you have missed so much.

6. Erotic and swingers clubs

If you are both sexually open-minded, then erotic parties and clubs are a way to bring excitement back into your sex life. The whole atmosphere envelops you and will inspire you. A visit to a swingers club together also creates a whole new dynamic. If you are curious but unsure, you can also agree to just watch together before you start your adventure.

7. Book an escort lady

Sometimes an adventure with someone else brings new momentum into a relationship. As an escort lady I show you what passion and eroticism means. Enjoy stimulating conversations with me over a glass of wine, delight in my feminine charms and give yourself to me. As an independent escort girl, I know exactly how to rekindle your desire. You can find out more about this in my blog post "Escort - the safe, discreet fling".

This boosts your hormones and your self-confidence, you get to know yourself from a completely different side and can enjoy this secret adventure all to yourself - of course with 100% discretion. 

As you can see, sexual displeasure, frustration in the bedroom and an unfulfilled sex life don't have to be a permanent state. You can do a lot about it once you have found the causes. Of course, I would be happy to help you find a solution. Feel free to contact me if you feel like an exciting escort date.

 

Yours, Aurelia

Independent Escort Munich